07 June 2004

To Relieve You On Mayhem Monday

Well, what do you know? The Education Secretary suspended classes in elementary schools because of the rains. But the announcement came late again as most of the pupils were either on their way to school or were already in school. This has been a perennial problem, which sadly, has not been resolved up to this time. Anyway, before I become stressed out again thinking about my gazillion what-ifs and should-have-beens, I'm sharing with you stress relievers I found on my email inbox minutes ago:
Stress Reliever # 1
Wife: "You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?"

Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."

Wife: "You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"

Hubby: "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, what other problem can there be greater than this one???"

Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet."

Stress Reliever # 3
Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."

Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."

Son: "But Mum, I was sitting on Daddy's lap."

Stress Reliever # 4
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!!!"

Stress Reliever # 5
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Stress Reliever # 6
Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire!" (cries)

Stress Reliever # 7
Girl to her boyfriend: "One kiss and I'll be yours forever."

The guy replies: "Thanks for the warning."

Stress Reliever # 8
A husband was asked: "Do you talk to your wife after sex?"

He replied: "Depends, if I can find a phone."

Stress Reliever # 9
"Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON commemorative stamps in the U.S.?"

Answer: "Because people started licking the wrong side."

Stress Reliever # 10
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me --- my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."

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