09 September 2004

--- An Everyday Problem

I got this today by email from my soulmate and I'm posting this here so you can get these tips on dealing with anger and angry people, which seems to be quite a frequent sight lately.

For the benefit of my friend foreigners and American doctors at Medlogs.com, I have edited and translated most of the Pilipino words to English for better understanding.
This would give you guides on how to control your emotions towards your better-half, friends, officemates and all the people around you, especially your boss. The rules of practicing "ugaling langit, ugaling kaaya-aya" (good naturedness is heavenly behavior):

  1. Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit. Pag naunahan ka na ng galit niya, tumahimik ka na lang muna. [Translation: He who was angry first has the right to be angry. If he succeeds in getting angry ahead of you, it is better to keep quiet first.]

  2. Walang taong nag-aaway mag-isa. Pag hindi kayo sumagot o pumatol, titigil din daw ang taong nakikipag-away sa inyo. [Translation: Nobody argues alone. If you do not react to the one angry at you, he will probably cool down on his own.]

  3. Ang taong galit, "bingi." [Translation: An angry person is "deaf." He is deaf to reason, deaf to you or anybody around him. It is futile to react or fight back to anyone who is angry.]

  4. Ang taong galit, "abnoy." Ayon sa pastor, nasa bibliya daw ito, ang sabi ni Hesus noong siya ay ipinako, 'Ama, patawarin mo sila dahil hindi nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa.' [Translation: An angry person is "abnormal." According to a pastor, this has a reference analogy in the bible when Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.' Angry people suffer from temporary insanity and loss of lucidity, and if you know any better, you know you do not react to 'insane' people, right?]

  5. Hanggang nandyan daw ang mga galit na tao at kinaiinisan mo, ibig sabihin, naapektuhan ka pa nila at hindi mo pa sila natututong pakisamahan. Hindi sila aalisin ng diyos sa tabi mo. Ikaw ang kailangang makapaghubog ng sarili mo na mapakisamahan sila ng maayos. Ang taong me talino at pang-unawa ay matututong makisama sa kanila ng walang halong pagka-inis o pagkamuhi [Translation: As long as an angry person or angry persons are around you and you keep on reacting angrily or annoyed to them, it means you are still not learning how to deal with them correctly. God will not take away these people. It is up to you to curb your bad feelings and thoughts towards them. You will know what maturity means when you no longer get annoyed with their constant anger episodes and you have acquired the patience to move around them.]

  6. Sa huli, maiisip mo na kaya sila nandyan ay para turuan kang maging mapagpasensyang tao, matalino, at handang humarap sa mga pagsubok ng buhay. Dadating ang araw, kukunin din siya ng Diyos at liligaya ka na din sa wakas. [Translation: Finally, the best approach to deal with these situations is to tell yourself that because of this angry person, "I will grow mature," and because of his CONTRIBUTION to your MATURITY development, GOD will take him out soon.]
There might be some levity to this forwarded email, but in a country where the concept, or should I say, trend of ANGER MANAGEMENT is still not as popular as text messaging, we should take it to ourselves to deal with our own angers and angry people in general, so we will not be doing too much harm emotionally (not to say, physically) to ourselves and people around us.

Reasons for getting angry abound, and are never lacking. What we must work for is how to keep our cool and smile deep enough to mean it.

Be cool.

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